Megsy's Pickle
by FireRose Prime
Summary: Megatron wants a never ending supply of pickles but gets more than he bargained for when he is visited by the magical Pickle Faery.  Total crack fic here!


Megatron sat there eating his pickle quietly. It was a momentous occasion for him. He loved his pickles, but never seemed to be able to get one when he wanted it. But Optimus had been able to get him one secretly. So the great decepticon leader lounged savoring his prize.

"If any of my men ever saw me, I'd be a laughing stock." He said in his corner. "Good thing no one knows about this spot." Megatron smiled to himself as he took another bite, only to find there was no pickle left."

"oh non, mon cornichon est parti! Il faut que je un autre! Why am I speaking in this retched human language? " He stood up quickly and raced to the front of the base. And he still didn't know why he had spoken in French. His soldiers questioned him as he flew by but he paid them no mind. He was on a mission to get another pickle.

He had flown over the desert for ten minutes when he suddenly realized something and stopped. "I don't even know where to go. I can't have just any pickle. It needs to be special…" He was cut off abruptly by a voice behind him.

"I have the pickle you seek, o strange one." Megsy turned to see a human floating on a pink could not five feet behind him.

"Who are you, fleshy? And where's my pickle?" No one taunted him with a beautiful pickle.

"O stupid metal one, I am the great pickle faery. I go around delivering pickles to those worthy of its mighty power. Be thankful, for I have deemed you worthy of its mighty secret." The pickle faery reached behind him and pulled out a pristine green pickle.

"Oh give it here!" Megatron ripped it out of the man's hand and held it close to his face like a treasure.

"Fine, I will not tell you the secret of the mighty pickle of power if you're going to act like that." The old, useless faery huffed and floated away on his bright pink cloud.

"Now that we're alone, sweet pickle what am I going to do with you? If I eat you I will be in just the same predicament… hmmmm… I know! I will plant you and grow a pickle tree and then I will never be without your wondrous goodness!" Once again he was racing through the skies, this time back to base.

A few months later, his pickle tree was ready to be harvested. He had planted the magical pickle close to base but not close enough that anyone was going to find it. He walked up to it in awe. But before he could reach the first pickle, a rainbow burst into the sky above him. But this was no normal rainbow, this rainbow was on fire!

"Whoa… I gotta get a picture of this." The picklecon whispered to himself. He took a snapshot of the mystical rainbow to show the others in his support group. He was a part of Pickle lovers anonymous. They met in secret every third Wednesday of every month. It was small but powerful. Megsy was only one of four cybertronian members, but he was the only con. Ironhide, Ratchet, and Sunstreaker were also members.

"Well, back to the harvest." So he hummed a little tune that turned out to be cendrillion while he picked the pickles off the pretty tree with the purple leaves. After twenty minutes, he had a large basket full of juicy pickles. Just as he turned to take his prizes back to his quarters he heard a howl to his left. He turned his head slowly only to be attacked by a pack of angry wolves. In his effort to escape their wrath he dropped his pickles.

"NOOOOOOOOOO! My sweet pickles!" He screamed in horror as he was dragged away.

Elsewhere on the Autobot base, Optimus and the pickle faery sat in his office watching all of it go down. Optimus laughed at the Con leader's plight as he took a bite out of his own magical pickle of power.

"He only got what was coming to him after ignoring me about the pickle of power." The faery said as he and Optimus laughed some more.

* * *

><p>Yep, Megatron got some issues. I know this was completely pointless but it's what you get when you mix pickles, French class, and Dairy Queen Commercials. Leave a comment and tell me what you think!<p> 


End file.
